


breathe; your grass is greener now

by HyperchaoticStarlight (MVPYurio)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (i mean eventually), (it takes awhile), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crying, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gender-neutral pronouns for Loki, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki makes some mischief, Magic, Misgendering, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Polyamory, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Loki (Marvel), Shapeshifter Loki (Marvel), Snarky Tony Stark, Tony Stark Cuddles, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, it’s like two seconds tho, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-22 08:29:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17056352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MVPYurio/pseuds/HyperchaoticStarlight
Summary: The Avengers have an absurd request for Tony. Luckily, he doesn't have to face their BS alone.





	1. insult

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MxVampirePunk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxVampirePunk/gifts), [rebelmeg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/gifts), [whichlights](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichlights/gifts).



> Into the dumpster we go...
> 
> For the record: this has NOTHING to do with my AU or any of my other fics, as is made evident by the fact that everyone on Team Cap is significantly worse in this piece than they are in my AU. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I think Steve's choice to withhold the truth about Howard and Maria's death until CACW fundamentally changes the entire MCU.
> 
> Also, no, I have no idea when this takes place as far as Thor chronology and I don't care. What matters is that the Avengers now have both the Tower and the compound and Tony, Loki, and Bruce are all dating.
> 
> Thank you to the folks in the Frostiron and Tony rarepair servers for all your help while I was developing this idea! And, of course, thanks to Roleb, the ever frustrating, for beta-reading and kicking me into the dumpster. I love you. I also hate you. But I mostly love you.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Tony stares at Rogers in complete disbelief.

“You heard me,” he says. “Come on, Tony, it’s a reasonable request.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” says Tony. He looks around at the other Avengers. “And you’re all on board with this. You seriously think that giving all of you complete access to my entire R&D floor is a _reasonable request._ That’s what we’re going with.”

“Tony, after what happened last month, none of us are so sure we can trust you,” Romanoff says cautiously, and _that’s_ a laugh and a half on its own. “It seems like every time we leave you to your own devices, you do something reckless and don’t tell any of us.”

“Funny, Romanoff,” Tony retorts. “I don’t remember you sitting next to me while I made seven out of the ten knives you have on your belt right now. In fact, looking around this room, I see one set of patented hearing aids, a quiver full of arrows, seven knives, a set of state-of-the-art comms, a pair of wings, and a very scary lady who was a kid while I was getting her a pardon, but as soon at it was signed, she gets to sit at the table with the grownups.”

“Lay off,” Steve warns.

“Lemme consult the recurring nightmares,” says Tony. “Yeah, they’re telling me no. But yeah. All of that, and we haven’t even mentioned the entire showcase of shit at the compound I gave you, all to yourselves. None of you were there while I was getting you all of that, but now you want access to my entire R&D floor here?”

“It’s just to make sure that you’re not making anything that could cause any more harm,” says Steve.

“The last time I let anyone other than Bruce into my lab, I lost _months_ of work because none of you have the decency to ask before you touch or clean up,” says Tony.

“You let Loki into your lab,” Barton mutters. “Still can’t believe you’re fucking him.”

“Dating, Barton,” says Tony. “The word is _dating._ Bruce and I are _dating_ them. And yes, I let them into the lab, while Bruce and I were both present, we had very clear expectations of what they were and were not allowed to do and touch, and they followed everything we said to the letter—something that can’t be said for anyone in this room.”

“What, so you don’t trust us?” Steve asks. “Tony, I thought we were friends.” Bruce snorts loudly. “What?”

“Okay, we’re going to stop this right here,” says Bruce. “Most of the lab spaces on the R&D floor are mine and Tony’s, so I get to have a say in whether I give anyone else access. And I haven’t decided whether I’m okay with this. We’ll let you know, _together,_ in a few days. Anything else?”

Steve sighs. “No. That’s it.”

“Great,” says Bruce. He helps Tony up. “Come on. We’re leaving.”

“Y’know, that might be it,” Barton says as they leave; he thinks he’s being quiet but Tony can hear. “Loki’s a bad influence on them both. That may be why they’re being so stubborn.”

What burns Tony most of all is that nobody disagrees with him.

He’s shaking by the time they reach the elevator, staring at nothing. Bruce pulls out his phone.

**[[Loki]]**

Can you come over? Tony is having a bad day.

I saw everything. I’m on my way.  
Penthouse bedroom in five minutes.

Great, thank you.

 

Bruce kicks his shoes off and leads Tony into the bedroom. “Shoes off, starlight,” he says. Tony nods and takes his shoes off while Bruce sits on the bed and puts a pillow in his lap.

“Behold, a screaming pad,” says Bruce, gesturing to the pillow. Tony reacts immediately, flopping down onto the bed and screaming into the pillow, his hands clenching into fists. Bruce lays his hands on top of Tony’s, caressing them with his thumbs until they unfurl and Tony starts to sob.

A few moments later, the air shimmers ever-so-slightly green and Loki appears in the room. “Hey,” Bruce says, extending his hand towards the mage.

“Hello, my dears.” Loki walks over and kisses Bruce before settling to sit next to him and Tony.

The shift in weight comes as a surprise to Tony—he had been crying too loudly to notice Loki’s entrance—and he’s about to turn and look when a hand fans out across his back. The hand itself is warm, but under his skin, he can feel ripples of cool, coursing through him as his tears pour out red and hot and angry. Frost magic. _Loki._ Tony lets out a sigh of relief. Loki’s hand moves in slow circles, spreading the cool feeling out like a balm and leaving Tony’s skin tingling ever so slightly. Soothing, but never quieting; Loki and Bruce have both told him time and time again that crying is good and healthy.

“That’s it, Anthony,” Loki says softly. “Let it out, my love; you’re doing so well. Just let it all out.” Bruce lightly squeezes Tony’s hands in agreement, and it’s enough for Tony to let go completely, his body going completely limp as he cries and cries.

Usually, this is the point where Loki leans down and asks Tony _what happened,_ or sometimes _who did this to you,_ if they can tell, either from bruises on Tony’s skin or a certain look in his eyes, that someone else hurt him. They always ask now, before Tony has calmed down, so the memories don’t upset him all over again, and Tony either will tell them, or look up with a teary nod and allow Loki to peer into his memories.

And yet, they haven’t asked, which means that they already know at least the basics. It’s much easier that way. Tony can say what he’s feeling without having to explain all the context.

“They tried to blame you,” he says, trying and failing to keep his voice steady. “They tried to say you were a bad influence and that it wasn’t fair that you could go into my lab and they couldn’t—”

As Tony breaks off and continues to sob, Loki feels their heart breaking. Of course, this is what troubles Tony the most—not the fact that these imbeciles wish to intrude on the only piece of his life he had managed to keep for himself, but that they implicated Loki in their demands.

They look up at Bruce, searching for guidance—Bruce knows Tony better; surely he has an idea as to what Loki should do—but Bruce only gives them a sad smile, the kind that says _You know as well as I do._

Following their instincts and hoping for the best, Loki moves their hand up to stroke Tony’s hair. Frost magic no longer seeps through their fingers, but the touch is every bit as loving as before. “Don’t worry about me, dear one,” they murmur. “For better or worse, I am a prince of Asgard. If they wish to challenge my honor, I shall handle them.”

“They’re right,” Bruce adds, kissing Tony’s fingertips. “The others are only shit talking Loki to work you up and get you to give in.”

“It still hurts,” Tony mumbles into the pillow.

Bruce sighs. What’s he supposed to say to that? There’s no logic to it, no argument to disprove. Tony _knows_ that it’s all theatre, that Barton and Romanoff and Rogers are being disingenuous hypocrites on purpose to push him into a corner, that none of them give a shit about New York or even Ultron unless it’s for a talking point.

But Tony hurts nevertheless, all because he loves Loki and Bruce and can’t bear to see them insulted, and there is absolutely nothing that Loki or Bruce can do about it.

“I know,” says Bruce, and it’s not enough but it’s all he has.

Eventually, Tony’s sobs turn to hiccups, and a few moments later, he is able to take deeper breaths, albeit slightly shaky ones. He twists his upper body and tilts his head up to look at Loki.

“That has to be painful,” Bruce deadpans. “And—ow, Tony, your elbow is—”

“Sorry—”

Loki rolls their eyes. “Midgard’s brightest mind, and you don’t think to just turn over.” They tap Tony’s shoulder twice, and a rush of wind lifts Tony an inch or so in the air before carefully laying him down again, this time on his back. “Silly mortal.”

“Why would I, when you can just do that?” Tony asks. “Hey, Reindeer Games.”

“Will you ever stop calling me that?”

“Nope. Never.”

“Relentless,” Loki mutters, but they’re already giving Tony a fond smile. They wipe away some of Tony’s leftover tears, and Tony _swears_ he can feel the stinging in his eyes going away and his sinuses clearing. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, my darling.”

“It’s fine,” Tony shrugs. “It’s better than the Avengers falling apart. They’re my friends.”

“If their cohesiveness is based around causing you this much pain day in and day out, perhaps they shouldn’t be so cohesive,” Loki says quietly. “You are beyond magnanimous towards them, Anthony. They are behaving with the ungratefulness of a child and taking advantage of your talent and selflessness. Pardon me if I am overstepping, but you deserve far better friends.”

“Well, the world needs us to stay together,” says Tony.

“The universe, really,” says Bruce. “Loki, I know you’re worried about Tony, and I am too. But I promise we’re looking out for one another, and Tony’s right. The Avengers really need to stay together.”

“I can’t say I trust either of you to look out for yourselves,” says Loki, “but I do trust you to look out for one another. But I mean it, Anthony.” They cup Tony’s cheek, pressing just slightly. “At the very least, ignore them when they attack me. Don’t give them the satisfaction.”

“Can I promise you I’ll try?” Tony asks.

“Of course,” says Loki. “That is all I can ever ask.” They straighten up a little. “I have an idea. A surprise for you.”

“Oh?” Tony asks, smiling for the first time all afternoon.

“Yes,” says Loki. “Do you think you can stay here with Bruce while I prepare it?”

“I dunno…” Tony taps his chin contemplatively. “Depends on how good your surprise is.”

Bruce scoffs and lightly flicks Tony’s nose. “Yes, Loki, we can stay right here.”

“You’re no fun,” Tony whines, but he’s smiling and the others know it.

“FRIDAY, please put on Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” says Bruce, massaging Tony’s shoulders.

“Mmmmm,” Tony hums. “You’re in luck, Lokes; I won’t move an _inch_ if Bruce keeps doing this…”

“Guess I’ll have to keep at it,” says Bruce. “Go on, Loki. We’ll be fine here.”

Loki kisses Tony’s nose and Bruce’s forehead. “Enjoy your show.”

“We have to get them into Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” Tony muses as Loki leaves.

“We really do,” says Bruce. “But for now…”

_“Wait for it… wait for it… 9:01, Amy Santiago is officially late for the first time ever. Alright, let’s do this! Who’s got theories?”_

_“Uhhh… Alarm didn’t go off.”_

_“All three alarms? All with battery backup? Come on, who wants to take this seriously?”_

_“Oooh! She was taken in her sleep!”_

_“That’s what I’m talking about! Super dark, Boyle, but way more plausible than the Sarge’s idiotic alarm clock theory.”_

_“I bet she tucked herself into bed too tight and got stuck.”_

_“Hmm, maybe she fell into another dimension where she’s interesting.”_

_“It’s 9:00 AM. Why is no one working?”_

_“Amy Santiago is a few minutes late, and we’re all trying to guess why.”_

_“I’d like to play. I’d say she’s… in line, at the… bank. This is fun.”_

_“It is fun, but you’re all wrong. She clearly slipped through a subway grate and is having TERRIBLE sex with a mole man—there she is! Amy! Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick! Do you CARE to explain yourself?”_

_“I’m just seventy seconds late! It’s not a big deal; don’t worry about it!”_

_“Santiago, you will tell us, and you will tell us now.”_

_“... there was a problem at the bank.”_

_“HOT DAMN!”_

Tony bursts out laughing as the theme song plays. “This show’s so fucking great.”

“It is, but d’you know what’s even greater?” Bruce asks.

Tony shakes his head. “No, what?”

Bruce bends forward and kisses Tony’s forehead. “You.”

They get through three episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and are halfway through a fourth when Loki comes in, carrying—

“Oh my God,” Tony half-moans. “Lokes, did you make me cookies?”

“See for yourself,” says Loki. They walk over to the bed with an absolutely massive plate of chocolate-chip cookies and hold it a tantalizing distance from Tony’s face.

“I didn’t think we had any cookie dough left over,” says Bruce.

Loki smiles. “I didn’t need it.”

“You made them from scratch?” Tony asks. He turns to look at Bruce. “Honestly, what did we do to deserve this angel?”

“No clue,” says Bruce. “Loki, you’re absolutely incredible.”

“Oh, hush.” Loki snaps their fingers, and the plate levitates off of their hand and hovers in place. They sit down on the bed next to Bruce and extend their arms towards Tony. “I believe it’s my turn.”

“What if I don’t want to share?” Bruce asks, snuggling Tony closer. “Maybe I want Tony all to myself today.” Loki raises an eyebrow. “Oh, fine.”

Tony laughs and crawls across the bed to Loki. “Happy?”

“Hmm. Not quite.” Loki carefully positions Tony so he’s sitting in their lap. “There. Perfect.”

“I’m dating the two most idiosyncratic… individuals… in the universe,” says Tony. “But damn it if I don’t love you both.”

“And I love you, Anthony,” says Loki, kissing Tony’s temple. “Oh, I almost forgot.” They open their hand and Tony’s favorite fuzzy blanket appears in it. “You left this in the living room.”

“I’m the richest man on this planet, and yet you somehow manage to spoil me.”

Loki smiles, wrapping the blanket around Tony. “Precisely.”

“Well, I don’t know about you two, but I want one of these cookies,” says Bruce. “May I?”

“Of course,” says Loki. Bruce takes a cookie, and Tony is about to grab one himself when Loki holds one to his lips.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Tony mutters, but he opens his mouth and lets Loki feed him.

“What can I say?” Loki asks innocently. “I like to take care of you.”

Tony finishes the cookie and beams. “Fucking hell, Lokes, these are so good.”

“Why thank you,” says Loki. Tony expects another cookie, but instead, Loki gives him a cup of water. “Drink; you’ve been crying.”

Tony doesn’t even try to take the cup this time, sipping the water and nuzzling into Loki’s embrace. Once he’s done, the cup refills itself.

They stay like that for a while, Tony cradled in Loki’s arms as they feed him cookies. Bruce scoots forward a little so he can rub Tony’s feet. Out of pure habit, they start talking science, their ideas for new projects.

“Okay, but we have yet to actually amalgamate magic and technology,” says Tony. “Loki, will you help us someday?”

“Certainly,” says Loki. “What do you think we could create together?”

“No clue,” says Tony.

“Here’s the real question,” says Bruce. “Are you going to share with the others?”

“Over my dead body.”

They continue that way, laughing and talking. Eventually, Tony and Bruce get into technicalities that Loki can’t understand, so they sit quietly and listen, feeding Tony a cookie every now and again. Tony’s body is steadily relaxing, his head resting against Loki’s shoulder.

“Are you feeling better, my love?” Loki asks softly once it seems that Bruce and Tony’s conversation has reached a stopping point.

Tony nods. “Yeah… yeah, I’m feeling better.”

“Good.” Loki wraps their arms a little tighter around Tony and kisses his forehead.

“Hey, Lokes?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks.”

“What for?”

“Coming for me… making me cookies…”

Loki shakes their head, gently rocking Tony in their arms. “My sweet Anthony, you never have to thank me for taking care of you.”

“Me neither,” says Bruce, kissing Tony’s forehead.

“However, if you insist on doing something for us in return, you could go to sleep now,” Loki suggests.

Tony laughs, completely unsurprised at Loki’s suggestion. “You both fuss too much,” he says. “What if I don’t want to? Are you going to magic me?”

“When have I ever ‘magicked’ you into doing something you didn’t want to do?” Loki asks.

“I mean, if you’re counting unsuccessful attempts, once,” Tony points out.

“Fair enough,” says Loki. “I am sorry for that… and for throwing you out of the window.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Defenestration’s hot.”

“I did _not_ just hear that,” Bruce deadpans. Tony winks. “Good grief.”

“Anyway,” says Loki. “I won’t ‘magic’ you into falling asleep, but I may have enchanted this blanket to protect you should you choose to fall asleep.”

“Protect me?”

“I’ve come to know you well,” says Loki. “You rarely sleep well after having a day like this.”

“You really should sleep, starlight,” says Bruce. “I can tell you’re tired.”

“Ganging up on me,” Tony mutters, but he obliges, lying down under the covers and allowing Loki and Bruce to curl around him just the way he likes it.

“FRIDAY, play something that will help Tony sleep,” Bruce says quietly. The sound of the ocean fills the room, and Tony can’t help but relax as Loki spoons him from behind and Bruce strokes his hair. The blanket, still wrapped around him even under the covers, brushes against his cheek and as Tony relaxes further, he can feel Loki’s enchantment, curling around his mind almost like Loki themself.

“I love you guys,” Tony mumbles, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“We love you too,” Bruce replies, and that’s the last thing Tony hears.

“That’s it,” Loki says as Tony drifts off completely, kissing Tony’s cheek. “Sleep.” A soft green glow emanates from the blanket, just bright enough to be visible under the covers but not so bright as to be disturbing.

Neither Loki nor Bruce speak for a few minutes, content to watch Tony sleep, but eventually Loki breaks the silence. “My sweet, clever Bruce,” they begin, “would you help me seek out a group of mortals foolish enough to insult us?”

Bruce laughs. “I thought you’d never ask.”


	2. injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You asked, and I delivered! Bruce and Loki's revenge, as promised!

Four hours later, and all but Steve, Clint, and Natasha have given up.

“You’re being absurd,” Wanda had said as she left, two hours after Bruce and Tony’s retreat. “Stark is never going to give in.”

“We’re staying here until we get an answer,” Steve had said firmly.

They have long stopped talking about their two stubborn teammates, and are now discussing team bonding.

In other words, they are talking about their two stubborn teammates.

“That time we all got Shawarma was fun,” Steve says for the thirtieth time. “We could introduce the new kids…”

“Maybe,” says Natasha. Clint shrugs.

Just then, Bruce enters the room. “We’ve made a decision,” he says in lieu of a hello.

“Hello to you too,” Clint mutters, but Steve holds up a hand and the archer falls silent.

“What did you decide, Bruce?” Steve asks.

“We’ll let you in,” says Bruce. “In fact, if you come with me, Tony is waiting in the lab to show you what he’s been working on.”

“Really?” Steve’s eyes light up. “That’s great!”

Natasha narrows her eyes. “Is this some sort of trick?”

Bruce turns to face her. “Come on, Nat. That’s Loki’s thing, not mine.”

“He makes a fair point,” says Steve. “Alright, Bruce. Lead the way.”

They exit the conference room and enter a nearby elevator. Bruce enters a code on a touchscreen keypad, and the elevator begins to move.

“This isn’t the usual entrance,” Steve says when the elevator doors open.

“A compromise,” Bruce explains. “You’ll have access to the space, but through your own door.”

Clint opens his mouth, but Steve waves him off. “Leave it,” he says. “We’ll take what we can get.”

Bruce smiles and opens the door.

“What the fuck?!” Natasha shouts the minute they walk in. Clint and Steve say nothing; instead, they stare blankly at the room which most definitely is  _ not  _ Tony’s lab.

The room is massive, empty, with padded walls, but none of them care about that, because there is a far more pressing issue: in the back of the room, they see the unmistakable silhouette of the Hulk.

“No, no, that can’t be right,” says Natasha. “If the Hulk is there, then how are you—”

They all turn around to see Bruce shimmer green and transform into Loki.

“I knew it,” Natasha mutters. “I knew it was a trick.”

“Then why did you come with me?” Loki asks. “If you were so sure it was a trick, you should not have followed me. I would not have brought you down here by force.”

Clint opens his mouth to say something, but before he can get a single word out, the Hulk lurches forward with a deafening roar.

“What the hell?!” Clint shouts. “Is this your play, Loki? Siccing the Hulk on us?”

“You speak as if I control him,” says Loki, eyes flitting across the room but landing with unbridled fury on Natasha. “He came of his own choice.”

“Bullshit,” says Clint. “Since when does he make choices?”

The Hulk roars again and is about to punch Clint when Loki touches his arm.

“Wait, my friend. Let me correct their misconceptions.” The Hulk roars in protest, but Loki persists. “I promise, you will get your chance.”

“Puny man hurt Tony,” the Hulk growls.

“I know,” says Loki, now rubbing the Hulk’s arm. “They hurt our Tony, and I promise they will pay. But I also promised Tony that should they challenge my honor, I would handle it.” Loki steps forward to face the Hulk. “If you will not wait for my sake, wait for his.”

The Hulk growls again, but steps back. “For Tony.”

Loki kisses the Hulk’s fingertips before turning back to the group. “Close your mouths; you’ll catch flies.”

“How the hell did you do that?” Clint asks with a mix of ire and awe.

“By using logic and reason, two concepts I sincerely doubt you understand,” Loki replies. “FRIDAY, please play the footage from Tony’s bedroom, approximately thirty minutes ago.”

“Right away,” FRIDAY replies, and a holographic image appears.

_ The room is dimly lit and filled with the sound of crashing waves. Tony is asleep in the center of the bed, peaceful, perhaps even content. Loki and Bruce sit on either side of him, watching. _

_ A few moments later, Loki looks up and breaks the silence. “My sweet, clever Bruce,” they begin, “would you help me seek out a group of mortals foolish enough to insult us?” _

_ Bruce laughs. “I thought you’d never ask.” _

_ They get off of the bed, carefully, so as not to wake Tony, walk to the foot of it, and join hands, exchanging soft looks. “My darling,” Loki says carefully, “I have an idea for what to do about your teammates, but it involves the Hulk. If you would rather he not be involved, tell me, and we will come up with a better idea together.” _

_ “Oh, no, I definitely want him involved,” says Bruce, grinning. “We’re both pissed as hell.” _

_ “Very well then.” _

The image fades. “He came of his own choice,” Loki repeats. They turn to the Hulk. “All yours, dear friend.”

Loki teleports to what looks like a balcony overlooking the room as the Hulk rushes towards the other Avengers and attacks. Without their suits or weapons, they are completely defenseless, relying only on speed and dexterity to dodge blow after blow.

“There’s another purpose to this exercise,” Loki calls. “Consider this a simulation of what your lives would be like without Tony Stark. Without his time, his efforts, his genius. Everything upon which you have relied since the Avengers were created, you have thanks to him.”

“Howard made my shield,” Steve retorts.

“Ah, yes, your shield,” Loki sneers. “A dinner plate made of stolen metal. And replaceable, if you were able to swallow your pride long enough to ask for something better.”

“You’re one to talk about pride,” says Natasha, dodging another punch. Loki shrugs aimlessly. “Asshole.”

Clint looks over his shoulder at her. “Nat, can’t you—”

“Oh, your little trick won’t work anymore,” says Loki. “I made sure of that. Isn’t that so, my friend?”

The Hulk grinned and landed a punch, right in Natasha’s gut, sending her flying across the room. “Banner chooses. Hulk chooses.”

“Quite so,” says Loki. They look down at the three Avengers, huddling together in the Hulk’s looming shadow. “Do you see now? Do you see what you are without Tony Stark?”

“Make him stop!” Clint shouts.

Loki rolls their eyes. “You’ve learned nothing, I see. Typical. I don’t  _ make  _ him do anything.”

“Loki.” Steve steps away from the others and looks up towards the balcony. “I get that you and Bruce are protective of Tony. But we  _ need  _ the Hulk. He’s an Avenger. Having him attack us—”

“Banner knows what Hulk does,” says the Hulk. “Hulk knows what Banner does.”

“Since when?” Natasha asks.

“Since I opened their minds,” Loki replies.

“To what?”

“To each other.” Clint rolls his eyes, but Loki continues. “That’s how I rendered your little trick useless. By breaking down the barrier which prevented their communication. The rest, they did themselves.”

“I mean, it makes sense,” Natasha muses. Clint glares at her. “What?”

“You’re supposed to be on our side.”

“Last I checked, the Avengers are all on the same side.” Natasha looks up at Loki. “I get it now.”

“I had a feeling you’d be the first to see sense,” says Loki, teleporting off of the balcony. “Go on, then. Advise your leader.”

Natasha turns to Steve. “They’re right. We’d be fucked without Tony. He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s the only reason any of us are alive.”

“His boyfriend is trying to kill us!” Clint shouts. “He just punched you in the gut, Nat!”

“The Hulk—who isn’t Tony’s boyfriend; that’s Bruce; they’re different—hasn’t attacked us once in the past two minutes,” says Natasha. “He was never trying to kill us. That was never the goal. Loki said that from the beginning, but none of us were listening.”

“When was that?” Clint asks.

“They called it a simulation,” Natasha replies. “Training. Pretend. Theatre, if you like. But what if it was someone who was actually trying to kill us? An actual enemy?”

“Like Loki?” Clint retorts.

“I forgot you slept through the briefing where Tony explained that Loki was being controlled by someone else,” says Natasha. “Someone way worse than anything we’ve dealt with so far. And when whatever  _ that  _ is comes for us, we’re going to need each other more than ever. We can’t keep antagonizing Tony while simultaneously demanding more and more from him, not if we want his help when the shit really hits the fan. Steve, we have to let this one go. Tony is reckless and dumb, but he has our best interests at heart —and always has.”

“I don’t trust him,” says Steve. He looks over at Loki. “Either of them.”

Natasha turns to face him. “Then trust me.”

Steve looks around the room, at the padded walls. Minus the boxing equipment, weights, and marked-out ring, it looks just like their training rooms in the compound and on the Helicarrier.

It really was just a training exercise. A sparring match.

“You were bleeding earlier, were you not, Barton?” Loki asks innocently. “I thought the Hulk broke your nose. Shattered it, actually.”

Clint touches his nose, and no blood comes away. “What the—”

“They healed us,” Natasha realizes. “Loki healed all of our injuries.”

“Why?” Clint asks suspiciously. “Why put us through all of this, just to heal us?”

“I hate all three of you, vehemently,” says Loki. “I came to the Tower today to find Anthony sobbing uncontrollably, because of you. For that, I might never forgive you.”

“That explains why your plan involved the Hulk beating the shit out of us,” says Clint. “But I still don’t get the healing.”

“You are Anthony’s friends,” says Loki. “And as much as you disgust me, my love for him overwhelms that, infinitely.”

“You haven’t told him, have you,” says Steve.

“Well, of course not,” says Loki. “Anthony is asleep right now, and this was all impromptu. We’ll tell him as soon as he wakes.”

“Which should be pretty soon.”

The Avengers turn around to see that the Hulk had transformed back into Bruce.

“Loki, do you mind?” Bruce asks, gesturing to his lack of clothes. Loki waves a hand. “Thanks.”

“You’re quite right,” says Loki. “We really should be off. He hates waking up alone. Would you mind seeing these three out and meeting me upstairs?”

“Sure,” says Bruce. He walks over to Loki and gives them a kiss. “C’mon,” he says to the other Avengers. “Let’s get you out of here.”

~~~~

Loki is stroking Tony’s hair when Bruce returns to the bedroom.

“Look, Bruce,” they say quietly. “Look at how lucky we are. He’s so beautiful when he’s like this, completely at peace.”

Indeed, Tony’s expression is soft, relaxed, perhaps even content, the rise and fall of his chest perfectly in time with the still-cascading waves.

Bruce’s eyes sparkle as he approaches the bed and sits down. “He really is… but he probably shouldn’t sleep for much longer. It’s only three in the afternoon, and if he doesn’t wake up soon, he’ll stay up all night in the lab.”

“True,” says Loki. They pull back the covers and lightly brush their fingertips along the enchanted blanket. The green glow around it fades away.

“Was that keeping him asleep?” Bruce asks.

Loki shakes their head. “No, but it was causing him perfect bliss while asleep. He was in the middle of what is likely the best dream he has ever had. Waking him without first breaking the enchantment would irritate him greatly. In a moment, the dream will come to its conclusion… there. Look, he’s bored with sleeping already.”

“Typical,” Bruce laughs. He shakes Tony’s shoulder. “Tony, starlight, it’s time to wake up.”

“Mmmnnghhhh,” Tony groans. His eyes blink open and he looks around. “How long have I been out?”

“Only an hour or so,” says Bruce. “Catnap, if you will.”

“Only an hour? That’s barely a kitten-nap.”

“And yet, do you not feel well-rested?” Loki asks, smoothing the hair from Tony’s face.

Tony pauses. “Actually,  _ yeah.  _ I feel pretty great.” Loki grins. “You did something, didn’t you.”

“I told you, I enchanted that blanket you love so much,” says Loki. They bend down and kiss Tony’s forehead.

“Thanks, Lokes.” Tony sits up and nuzzles Loki’s shoulder before turning to look at Bruce. “Hey, hang on.” He points to Bruce’s shirt. “You were wearing a different shirt before.”

“There really is no rhyme or reason to when you notice things,” says Bruce. “I may have Hulked out while you were asleep.”

“What?!” Tony all but jumps. “Are you okay?”

“Relax,” says Bruce. “Loki was there the whole time, we were in the playspace you made, and everything was fine.”

Tony narrows his eyes. “You don’t just ‘Hulk out’ randomly. Something pissed you off… oh.” He sighs. “Bruce, you didn’t have to—”

“We wanted to,” says Bruce. “And if it makes you feel better, it ended in a civil conversation, and nobody’s hurt.”

“That… does actually make me feel better,” says Tony.

“And Natasha wants to back off on lab access,” Bruce adds. “Steve hasn’t said that he won’t stop pushing, but he’ll probably listen to Natasha.”

“What about Barton and the newer ones?” Tony asks.

“The newbies had already left,” says Bruce. “But Sam will go along with Steve, and Wanda will go along with Natasha.”

“Not if Barton and Romanoff don’t agree,” Tony argues. “And she’ll be taking Vision’s opinion into account too.”

“I don’t think Vision will be a problem,” says Bruce. “We basically made him in your lab, after all. And if Steve and Natasha agree to leave you alone, Barton will just look like a stubborn brat, and Wanda won’t want to associate with that.”

“I mean, Barton  _ is _ a stubborn brat,” says Tony.

“Your team is so complex,” says Loki. “The politics involved remind me of Asgard.”

“Things were definitely simpler when it was just the six of us,” says Tony. “Rogers and I disagreed a lot, but generally, as long as Romanoff was on my side, that was enough to keep things from falling apart.”

“You have yet to mention my brother,” Loki muses.

“Well, Thor is pretty agreeable,” Bruce explains. “His thing is making sure that Avengers work doesn’t interfere with his role in Asgard and his relationships with Jane and you, so he doesn’t really participate in team spats. For the most part, he’ll go along with whatever the rest of us agree to do.”

“Thor’s the easiest one to work with for sure,” says Tony. “So you really think they’ll back off?”

“I think so,” says Bruce. “Honestly, I have a sneaking suspicion that this is mostly coming from Fury putting pressure on Steve to see what you’re up to, to make sure that nothing you’re doing will keep SHIELD from rebuilding the way it wants to. If Natasha is serious about leaving you alone, she’ll tell Fury to back off, and he won’t have a leg to stand on.”

“Well, we’ll see how it goes,” says Tony. “Thanks again for talking to them… or whatever it is that you did.”

“It was all Loki’s idea,” says Bruce.

“But you participated, my dear,” Loki points out. “I would not have been able to convince your teammates on my own.”

“Thanks to both of you, then,” says Tony. He kisses Bruce’s cheek and then Loki’s. “I love you both so much, you complete maniacs.”

“I’m not a maniac,” Bruce protests.

“He’s really not,” Loki agrees. “I am—”

“—well, we  _ knew  _ that—”

“—but he’s not.” Loki’s laugh is like ice, a perfect balance of terror and grace, cold, sparkling, and—at least to Tony—breathtaking. They lean over and kiss Tony’s temple. “Don’t worry, my darling. I have enough mania for all three of us.”

“Awww,” Tony croons. “I knew I could count on you, Lokes.” Bruce snorts. “What?”

“You’re something else, Tony,” Bruce sighs. “But God, do I love you.”

Loki watches quietly as Tony and Bruce wrap their arms around each other and trade kisses… well, for a few moments. After that, their patience runs out and they wrap their arms around Tony’s back, nuzzling until Tony pulls them in.

They continue like that, sharing kisses and touches and relishing in each other’s company, and perhaps it’s minutes or perhaps it’s hours, but eventually Tony pulls away.

“I could do this all day, honestly, I really could, but I want to get to the lab,” he says. “Either of you want to come with?”

“You know I’m always up for some science,” says Bruce. “Loki?”

“We could work on that amalgamation I was talking about,” says Tony. “C’mon, Lokes, I really want you to come.”

“So do I,” says Bruce.

“Oh, if you insist,” says Loki, feigning exasperation, but then they smile. “After that, perhaps you can introduce me to that show you keep talking about.”

“Yeah,” says Tony. “Yeah. That sounds perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr: hyperchaoticstarlight, marvel-at-these-gays, tinytonys, and scienceshipping!


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